James May calls for motorcycle thieves to be killed

It is fair to say that James May is typically seen as the calmest, most sensible member of The Grand Tour team – and his temper is certainly nothing compared to that of Jeremy Clarkson. However in his latest article for Drivetribe, May has revealed that he thinks all motorcycle thieves to be killed. And he seems quite serious.

He wrote that although he is opposed to capital punishment, he can see a case for an exception when it comes to motorbike thieves. “The landscape of crime is never as simple as it seems,” May wrote. “It’s all too easy to believe that a zero tolerance crackdown in the community with greater powers and funding for law enforcement agencies (blah blah whatever it is people say on radio phone-ins) is the right thing to say here.”

“We could attempt to absolve society of its responsibilities and blame the bike makers, for not providing adequate built-in security. These are platitudes. We must deal with the problem of bike thieves at its source, by killing them.” – James May

“It makes me shudder to write that. I, like any civilised person, am vehemently opposed to capital punishment and any other form of state-sponsored murder,” he adds. “Justice should not admit a public’s thirst for pure revenge. But that’s not what’s happening here. I have arrived at this conclusion not through knee-jerk reaction or impotent fury, but by a pure and unadulterated process of logic. They have to be killed.”

May argues that because police don’t or can’t do much about gangs of motorbike thieves, the only way to stop them stealing bikes is to have them killed – and although he admits that some forms of theft are understandable, May says the wankers who steal bikes are different and deserve death.

He wrote: “I hate the idea of people nicking my stuff, but in all honesty, I’m pretty well off. If a genuinely desperate man on his last gasp nicks my coat from the pub on a freezing night, well, he’s welcome to it. It’ll change his life, mine’s only inconvenienced by having to buy another one.

“Even a truly desperate drug addict can have my coat. He’s made a mistake somewhere in life and I haven’t, which is my good fortune. But the people we’re talking about here are just wankers nicking bikes for profit, so we should kill them.”