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Stig Quotes

The only complete and up-to-date list of Stig quotes on the Internet, listed in the order of which they appeared. Each one is linked to the episode in which it was said.

The Stig[06x01] – “Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06x02] – “Some say he’s wanted by the CIA and that he sleeps upside down like a Bat. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06x03] – “Some say that he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06x04] – “Some say he is illegal in 17 US states, and he blinks this way [sideways]. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06x05] – “Some say that his breath smells of magnesium, and that he’s scared of bells. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06x06] – “Some say he naturally faces magnetic north, and that all his legs are hydraulic. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06x07] – “Some say that he lives in a tree, and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06x08] – “Some say that his heart ticks like a watch, and that he’s confused by stairs. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06x09] – “Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has two sets of knees. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[06x11] – “Some say that he’s terrified of ducks, and that there’s an airport in Russia named after him. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[07x01] – “Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin’s, and that wherever you are in the world, if you turn your radio to 88.4 you can actually hear his thoughts. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[07x02] – “Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[07x03] – “Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[07x04] – “Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire he’d burn for 1000 days. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[07x05] – “Some say he can swim 7 lengths underwater, and he has webbed buttocks. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[07x06] – “Some say that his heart is in upside down, and that his teeth glow in the dark. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08x01] – “Some say that his ears aren’t exactly where you’d expect them to be, and that once, preposterously, he had an affair with John Prescott. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08x02] – “Some say he has a digital face, and that if he felt like it he could fire Alan Sugar. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08x03] – “Some say that his genitals are on upside down, and that if he could be bothered he could crack the da vinci code in 43 seconds. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08x04] – “Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and that he’s been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08x05] – “Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nurburgring, and if you give him a really important job to do, he’ll skive off and play croquet. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08x06] – “Now some say he invented Branston Pickle, and that if you insult his mother, he will head-butt you in the chest. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08x07] – “Some say that on really warm days he sheds his skin like a snake, and that for some reason he’s allergic to the Dutch. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[08x08] – “Some say that his first name really is “The”, and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island they’d all be pregnant, including the camera men. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[09x01] – “Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and that long before anyone else he realised that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[09x02] – “Some say that he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the Cash for Honours scandal. All we know is he’s called Lord Stig.”

[09x03] – “Some say that he’s a CIA experiment that went wrong, and that he only eats cheese. All we know is he’s not the Stig, but he is the Stig’s American Cousin.”

[09x04] – “Some say that if you lick his chest it tastes exactly the same as Piccalilly, and that at this weeks Brit Awards he was arrested for goosing Russell Brandt. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[09x05] – “Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and that his crash helmet is modeled on Britney Spears’ head. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[09x06] – “Some say he isn’t machine washable, and all his potted plants are called ‘Steve’. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10x01] – “Some say that his scrotum has it’s own small gravity field, and because our producer rigged a phone vote, he now has a new name. All we know is he’s called Cuddles.”

[10x02] – “Some say that he’s banned from the town of Chichester, and that in a recent late night deal he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10x03] – “Some say that he gets terrible eczema on his helmet, and that if he’d been the video ref in the World Cup rugby final he would have seen that of course it was a try you blind Australian half-wit. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10x04] – “Some say that he’s seen The Lion King 1,780 times, and that his second best friend is a Cape Buffalo. All we know is he’s not the Stig, but he is the Stig’s African Cousin.”

[10x05] – “Some say that to unlock him you have to run your finger down his face, like that. And that if he were getting divorced from Paul McCartney he’d keep his stupid whining mouth shut. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10x06] – “Some say that he thought Star Wars was a documentary, and that he recently pulled out of “I’m a Celebrity” because he’s frightened of trees, and Australia, and Koo Stark, and Ant, and Dec. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10x07] – “Some say that he knows two facts about ducks and both of them are wrong. And that 61 years ago he accidentally introduced her majesty The Queen to a Greek racialist. All we know is that I’m going to the tower now to have my head cut off, and he is called the Stig.”

[10x08] – “Some say that when he slows down, brake lights come on in his buttocks. And that if he’d been the manager of the England football squad last week he wouldn’t have been a feckless ginger gum chewing buffoon and ruined it for all of us. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10x09] – “Some say that he once lost a canoe on a beach in the north east, and that he once did some time in a prison in Canterbury because his teddy is called “The baby Jesus”. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[10x10] – “Some say that as we speak he is actually relaxing in the resort’s pool, and he is actually.”

[11x01] – “Some say that after making love he bites the head off his partner, and that he’s had to give up binge drinking now that it’s got to £1.18 a litre. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[11x02] – “Some say that each of his toenails are exactly the same as a woman’s nipples, and that he thinks the credit crunch is some kind of breakfast cereal. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[11x04] – “Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[11x05] – “Some say that he isn’t allowed by law to be within 100 yards of Lorraine Kelly, and that he’s never seen an episode of Top Gear because he’s a huge fan of Midsomer Murders. All we know is he’s called the Bergerak.”

[11x06] – “Some say it’s impossible for him to wear socks, and he can open a beer bottle with his testes. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[12x01] – “Some say that he sleeps inside out, and that he once had full sex with Russell Brandt’s answering machine. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[12x02] – “Some say that he invented November, and that if he won the world championship in Brazil last weekend there might have been one photograph of him without his father, gurning in the back of shot. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[12x04] – “Some say he has a stripey top, just like mine……..” [James May]

[12x05] – “Some say that one of his eyes is a testie, and that he was turned down for ‘I’m a Celebrity’ because people have heard of him. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[12x06] – “Some say that one of his legs gets longer when he sees a pretty lady, and that I haven’t done one of these for some time and I’ve forgotten to make up a second thing. All we know is he’s called the Stig.” [Richard Hammond]

[12x07] – “Some say, that he doesn’t like to get his helmet wet, a point that was proved last week when he was caught in the back of shot by an eagle eyed viewer (a picture is shown of The Stig using an umbrella) all we know is, he’s called The Stig”

[13x01] – “Some say that he invented the curtain, and that he recently submitted a £20,000 expenses claim for some gravel, for his moat. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[13x02] – “Some say that last week he was found in a locked room tied to a chair with German piano wire. And that this week, MP’s turned him down for the job of “Speaker”. All we know is that’s three things he has in common with Margaret Beckett.”

[13x03] – “Some say that he thinks crisps are animals, and that if he’d done well at Wimbledon, once in a while he might have been able to raise a smile. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[13x04] – “Some say that he is absolutely baffled by urinals, and that on reflection this was a bad week to launch his debut single – it’s a tribute, to Farrah Fawcett. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[13x05] – “Some say he has 12 GCSE’s all in domestic science, and that he’s been producing artificial sperm for years – even though we have repeatedly asked him not to. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[13x06] – “Some say that on Thursdays he becomes incredibly bulbous, and that recently pigs in Mexico have started to die of something called Stig Flu. All we know is he’s highly contagious.”

[13x07] – “Some say that he cut that man’s hair, and that if he compensated a soldier for getting wounded he wouldn’t try to take it all back again. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[14x01] – “Some say that in the Autumn all his arms go brown and fall off. And that if he wrote you a letter of condolence he would at least get your name right. All we know is he’s called the Stog.”

[14x02] – “Some say that he has some terrible plans involving the moon, and that he was turned down for a place on “I’m a Celebrity” because he is one. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[14x03] – “Some say that his new Christmas range of fragrances includes the great smell of ‘Wednesday’, and that he was turned down for the job of EU President because his face is just too recognizable. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[14x04] – “Some say that the drinks cabinet in his car contains 14 different types of custard, and while he has been known to leave his house in a bit of a hurry, he’s never once hit a fire hydrant. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[14x05] – “Some say that you shouldn’t go ’round to his house for ya Christmas Lunch unless you enjoy the great taste of Seagull, and that the reason he always wears a helmet is that a man once smashed him in the face with a model of Salisbury Cathedral. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[14x07] – “Some say that he has to take his shoes off with an allen key, and that his new year’s resolution is to eat fewer mice. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[15x01] – “Some say that his discharge is luminous, and that even as we speak he is appearing on the main stage at Glastonbury performing his most famous hit “Superstition”. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[15x02] – “Some say that there are seventeen different reasons why he’s banned from the North Hampton branch of Little Chef, and that his favourite airline pilot is Mark Webber.. mine too actually. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[15x03] – “Some say that if you hold him in the wrong way he doesn’t work properly, and that just very recently he developed an irrational hatred of Rubens Barrichello. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[15x04] – “Some say that he spent all week daydreaming about what Rubens Barrichello would look like in a ham slicer, and that he’s terrified the BBC will reveal his salary because he’s paid in strong pornography. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[15x05] – “Some say the Scottish released him a little bit too soon, and that he spent all week pushing an effigy of Rubens Barrichello through his desk fan. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[15x06] – “Some say that he’s recently been releasing pop records under the pseudonym of Lady Gaga, and that under his race suit he also wears a red G-string and suspenders. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[16x03] – “Please welcome TOP GEAR’S NEW STIG!”

[16x04] – “Some say that he doesn’t understand the word ‘envelope’, and that he is the only woman in Britain not to have slept with Alan Johnson’s policemen. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[16x05] – “Some say he once tore a goat in half, and that he is now regretting buying his new holiday home in downtown Cairo. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[16x06] – “Some say his nipples are explosive, and that he’s recently had a Mexican… I mean Brazilian! Why did I say that! I’m sorry Mr Ambassador! Anyway, all we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[16x07] – “Some say that in his wallet he keeps a photograph of his wallet, and that in a recent race even he was beaten by the King’s speech. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[16x08] – “Some say that his favourite disease that he had when he was a child was Gout, and that he was very surprised this week when he was able to pick up some remarkably cheap tickets to the Bahrain Grand Prix. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[17x01] – “Some say he doesn’t know what dogs are for, and that he recently took out a super-injunction to prevent us from revealing that he …….. …………… … …….. ….. …….. ……. with an enormous goat. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[17x02] – “Some say that he can’t eat mashed potato for religious reasons, and that he recently received 47,000 tickets, Olympic tickets, all of them for the final of the Women’s Wrestling. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[17x03] – “Some say that he refuses to acknowledge the existence of Nottingham shire, and that he recently received a very strong email from his finance’s mother, saying its bad manners to sit at the dinner table in a helmet. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[17x04] – “Some say that he once hacked into his own helmet, and that he thinks Harper Seven is a convicted terrorist cell. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[17x06] – “Some say that his favourite T-shirt has a picture on the front of a T-shirt, and that he spent all week waiting for a big cheque from the Germans, because he too has spent the last 2000 years sitting on his backside doing absolutely nothing at all. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[18x01] – “Some say he’s not the Stig. But he is the Stig’s Italian cousin!”

[18x02] – “Some say he’s the Stig, but he isn’t. He’s the Stig’s Chinese cousin!”

[18x03] – “Some say he has 50,000 photographs of his own camera, and that 60 years ago this week, he too became a Queen. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[18x04] – “He’s not the Stig’s alpine cousin, he’s just the Stig.”

[18x05] – “Some say that he is the only man in history to buy a DFS sofa when there wasn’t a sale on, and that his favourite boxing venue is Munich airport. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[18x06] – “Some say that he stores all of his shoes and his cassette tapes on the motorway central reservation, and that he can easily stay quiet for 2 hours, he’s wondering why he didn’t win an Oscar. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

[19x01] – “Some say that we have at least thought of a new way of introducing him, but we haven’t. He’s the Stig!”

[19x03] – “Some say that following the vote on gay marriage, he’s got engaged to James May……’s lawn mower, and that he’s become convinced this week Henry IV is buried under the follow-through. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[19x04] – “Some say he contains 47% horse, and that to concentrate more on his work here he has resigned this week from his other job in Rome. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[20x01] – “Some say he has the world’s largest collection of horse eggs, and that when he knocked Rafael Nadal out this week, it wasn’t during a game of Tennis. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[20x02] – “Some say that he breaks into people’s houses at night and leaves two mysterious extra keys in a kitchen drawer, and that as a result of buying Pirelli condoms this week, he now has seventeen children. All we know is he’s called The Stig!”

[20x04] – “Some say that he also has a button that makes him hum, and that if he played football for Manchester United he’d be loyal, because he’s not a potato-headed oaf. But all we know is he’s the Stig!”

[20x05] – “Some say he’s married to one of Princess Anne’s hats, and that he spent all week standing outside the hospital in London, pretending to be Nicholas Witchell. All we know is he’s called The Stig!”

[21x03] – “Some say that this week he’s wearing two layers of nomex, and that one a recent trip to Cornwall he stopped off for one of his special big wees in Somerset. But all we know is he’s the Stig!”

[21x04] – “Some say that he once put Helen Mirren in a dishwasher, and that at the Winter Olympics he was disqualified from the skeleton event for riding down the hill on an actual skeleton. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

[21x05] – “Some say that his hair is the exact same shape as a hat, and that if he worked for CNN… he wouldn’t get such pitifully low ratings that his show got cancelled. All we know is he’s called the Stig!”

stig-some-say

Think you’ve got a better one? Tell us below!

  • Mohammed

    Some say that his IQ is measured in horsepower and that he’s the only person who can find chuck Norris … If he was bothered. All we know is he’s called the stig !

    • Andrew

      Some say he once impregnated a Ferrari Enzo, which is astonishing considering that that car, was a male, and that he once won a farting competition, by shitting his trousers.

  • Lol

    Some say he brainwashed us all so we would forget that we saw his face.others say his name isn’t even the stig. We call him the stig.

  • nate

    Some say, he was made in China and assembled in Calafonia. and that if he owned Apple, he would make all the phones in the shape of cars. All we know, is he’s called the Stig!

    • David

      “Calafonia”? Seriously?

  • Hey man

    Some say he invented the bunny how and has a tattoo of his face on his face.all we know is he’s called the stig

  • Dave

    Some say his bones are made of carbon fiber and that when he breathes, he expells the same ingredients in an exaust pipe.

  • Andrew

    Some say he can smell fear while others say he is the last thing people see before they die

  • Badman

    Some say he thinks that the snow is trying to kill him and that he knows every language in the world … including morse code. All we know is he’s called the stig

  • Nutter

    Some say he was alive at the time of dinosaurs and that it was his helmet which caused them to become extinct. All e know is he’s called the stig

  • Crossy

    Some say that he reproduces by asexual means and his testicles are made of diamonds, all we know is his is called the Stig

  • Lolling

    Some say that he watches Disney channel and he kissed David Beckham for 40 hours non stop … On the lips. All we know is he’s called the stig.

  • Fingers Mahoney

    Some say his car’s engine is a Marshall Valvestate S80 guitar amp, others say he enjoys his afternoons off shooting flowers with a blow gun, all we know is he’s called The Stig.

  • Someone Else

    Some say he doesn’t acknowledge his own existence…
    And refuses to have an identity because he’s allergic of names…
    All we know is he’s called the Stig.

  • Humza Arshad

    Some say that he is attracted to milk and that he sees in black and white. All we know is, he’s called the stig!

  • Antvenom

    Some say he thinks that suitcases are Specificlly for smart clothes and that if he tried to be a policeman he wouldn’t understand the arrest statement. All we know is, he’s called the stig!

  • Danny Lagan Gonzalez

    Some say he was born on Mars and that he thinks cows are terrorists. All we know is he’s called the stig!

  • Danny Lagan Gonzalez

    The above comments were all made by me btw

    • Me

      Uhhh no they weren’t

  • Tony sharpe

    Some people say when he sleeps you hear revving and that when that he can enpregnate women with his stare

  • Tony sharpe

    Some people say when he sleeps you hear revving and that when that he can enpregnate women with his stare all we know is he’s the stig

  • Sam Briscoe

    Some say that he is illegal in Antarctica, and that he is as survivable as Twinkies and cockroaches, but all we know is that he’s the stig!

  • ciric

    some say He was seen riding Indian tiger with Edward Snowden in russian airport …all we know is he’s called the Stig

  • Steve Sharp

    Some say, he’s tax exempt… and that all of his close friends are Swedish manikins. All we know is, he’s called the STIG

  • ciric

    some say His fingerprints have form of Grand Prix Monaco …all we know is he’s called the Stig

  • Jäger Meister

    Some say in the event of a water landing he may be used as a flotation device, and he once successfully placed an entire roll of toothpaste back in the tube.
    All we know is he’s called the Stig.

  • sam

    some say that he eats soup with a fork and his sweat tastes like gun powder all we know is that his called the stig

  • http://topgearbox.com sam

    some say that he eats soup with a fork and that his sweat taste like gun powder. all we know is his called the stig

  • Ivan Pieters

    Some say that he likes to have a barbaque under water and that he once stole James May”s shoe laces for political reasons. All we know is, he is called the stig!

  • Kyle

    Some say he’s never seen the end of a movie and that when he passes gas an angel gets it’s wings. All we know is he’s called The Stig…

  • Kyle

    Some say he has no belly button and that he stays crunchy in milk. All we know is he called The Stig…

  • Kyle

    Some say he drinks butter to repel badgers and he once got into a fist fight with his mum and lost. All we know is he’s called The Stig…

  • Some1

    @topgearbox where are the some say quotes for top gear series 20!!!

  • Sir Robert

    Some say his eyelids are elastic and that he once shaved his legs as a right of passage into the boyscouts

  • Sir Robert

    Some say his saliva contains axle grease and horse milk and that the hammerhead is actually named after his mum

  • Sadako

    Some say that he operates on a 27 hour day, and if you watch him on film, sometimes he looks like he’s spinning backwards. All we know is, he’s called The Stig!

  • Denzel Holness

    some say he is faster than Usain Bolt, and that he actually wears his suit backwards. all we know is, he’s called The Stig!

    • Greg Foster

      nice one bro

      • Jill Wilkins

        haha I like this one!

  • mzokhona

    some say once he have a son he will name him crankshaft other say every midnight he became eartworm

  • Billy Bertsch

    Some say that he keeps food in his bank account, and that he was born 37 years in the future. All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

    • Noah

      Good one!

  • john

    Some say that he takes nine 6 volt lantern batteries, and you plug them into his buttocks and that if he were to visit Australia, he would walk upside-down on his hands. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

  • naail

    some say he thinks star wars is a documentary. some say he thinks gastrol gtx is coffee, all we know is he is the stig

  • Stephen

    Some say that he once tried to purchase a royal mail post box with stamps and that just recently he tried to shoplift a shop. All we know is he’s called the STIG

  • Shazoom

    Some say that he is the real slim shady and that he can play every instrument except the flute. All we know is, he’s called the Stig

  • Dwayne

    Some say that he can only count to 7 and that he secretly eats cheese just before he goes to bed. All we know is, he’s called the Stig

  • Ryan

    Some say he has won the lottery without buying a ticket, and that he can win a marathon … while walking. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

  • Mike

    Some say that his blood consists of 75% petrol, and that the seat covers in his car are made of strawberry frosting. All we know is, he’s called the stig!

  • Mike

    Some say that his pinky toe is made of lightweight aluminum, and that owns 46 kittens named Franky, all we know is hes called the stig!

  • Mike

    Some say that avocados give him horrific nightmares, and that he uses ghost pepper sauce instead of milk in his cereal, for religious reasons. All we know is, he’s called the stig!

  • Chich

    Some say that his digestive system is made totally from carbon fibre and that he won the Tour de France 7 times…by walking backward… all we know is, he’s called the stig!!

  • Billy

    Some say, he voted for Tony the Tiger in the US presidential election, and that he thinks the hokey pokey, is really what its all about, all we know is that he’s called the STIG!!!

  • Billy

    Some say, he’s the reason for the partial shutdown of the US Government, and that Obamacare is a secret brainwashing project, all we know is, he’s called The Stig!!!

  • Bily

    Some say, he’s done a burnout on the moon in the lunar rover, and that the Washington Monument in DC is actually a tribute to Bill Clinton, all we know is, he’s called THE STIG!!!

  • Billy

    Some say he set a record around Nurburging,,,, by doing jumping jacks, and he once beat Michael shumacher in a pinky toe wrestling contest, all we know is, he’s called the STIG!!!

  • Billy

    Some say, HE DIDNT THINK HE COULD DANCE EITHER,,,, and that he really is the noise on the opening credits on Law & Order UK,,all we know is, he’s called the S T I G ! ! !

  • Wang

    Some say he’s bellibutton looks like a jellytot and that he’s favorite car is a blue preas

  • Steve Halmonroyd

    Some say, he tried to divorce john Prescott and that he enters his own house by going down the chimney after seeing some bloke doing it. All we know is he’s called the Stig

  • ragajajsjna

    Some say he is very lucky so he can turn diamond into water and his pet is a wheelchair

  • Billy

    He once paddled across the North Atlantic, in a VW Beetle,,,and he once slept over at Nigel Mansells house, without him knowing,,,all we know is he’s called the STIG.

  • Billy

    Some say, he won a butt flexing contest, by squeezing an pumpkin, and that inside a box of chocolates, he knows exactly what you are gonna get,,all we know is he’s called the STIG.

  • Kathiy

    What does Stig mean or stand for?

    • Go Go Gadget

      Stig stands for THE STIG

  • Luana

    Some say in has a portrait of himself holding a portrait of himself holding a portrait of himself…all we know is,he’s called The Stig

  • naomi nyamweya

    some say that he can speak braille and that he once stared at an orange juice box for an hour because on it was the word “concentrate”, all we know is, he’s the stig :)

  • Mad man fitz

    Some say he was born drinking, and that in a recent race he too was astonded by Santa. All we know is he’s not the stig but the stigs Irish cousin

  • Mad man fitz

    Some say Jesus washed his feet, and tat he is confused by rocks

  • Mad man fitz

    Some say his testicles taste of ketchup and that chuck Norris can’t find him

  • Mad man fitz

    Some say his pet house is not his and that he is the messiah

  • Chris Baker

    Some say he insists that Hans Stuck is a legendary vet.

  • Billy

    Some say, he is really the most interesting man in the world, and that he once carjacked the lunar over, and sold it to a chop shop..all we know is he’s called the STIG.

  • Billy

    Some say he once walked across the English channel, on his hands, and the the high price of petrol, is really funding his croissant habit, all we know is he’s called the STIG

  • Billy

    Some say he has a 300 dollar a day petrol habit, and that he keeps the queens jewels in his trousers,,, all we know is, he’s called the STIG.

  • Farnsworth

    Some say he drinks pure unleaded seal tears and dines on prune skins… All we know is he’s called the stig!

  • jason de jesuz

    Some say that his third leg is so big, he can control the brake pedal with it.

  • Toby Bo

    Some say he uses throat pastilles just in case he wants to speak and sleeps rough in a safari park.All we know is he’s called the Stig.

  • Shawn

    Some say he sweats pheromones only super models can smell, and he moonlights as a busker in Paddington Station. All we know is that he’s called THE STIG!

  • J.T.

    Some say, that his circumcision was performed with pinking shears, so that he would have a built in ‘French Tickler,’ and that he can communicate with dolphins just by waving his hand…All we know is that he’s called THE STIG.

  • Billy

    Some say, he once walked from the UK to France, on the roof of the Chunnel,,,,and that he is the love child of the Queen, and Nigel Mansell, all we know is, he’s called the S T I G ! ! !

  • uday

    Some say, he had a threesum in bangkok, and that he sleeps with his pet who is a snake, all we know is, he’s called the STIG!!

  • Michael

    Some say he leaves tyre tracks when walking barefoot and that his race suit is lined with lead to shield us from his radiation – all we know is he’s called The Stig.

  • Go Go Gadget

    SOME SAY HE CHANGED THE ENGLISH CHANNEL AND HIS FIRST THREESOME WAS WITH A SMART FORTWO AND A TOYOTA PRIUS ALL WE KNOW IS HE IS JAMES MAY’S FATHER

    • ENZO FERRARI

      TO WHAT CHANNEL

      • Go Go Gadget

        TOPGEAR

  • Go Go Gadget

    SOME SAY THAT HE DRIVE ASLEEP AROUND THE TRACK OR ELSE HED FINISH IT BEFORE TIME COULD CATCH UP AND HE IS SECRETLY CHUCK NORRIS ALL WE KNOW IS WELL…NOTHING

  • RollTider

    Some say that he came before the chicken, and that he gave his father “The Talk”.

  • RollTider

    Some say that he voted against Kim Jong Un and for
    Elvis Presley.

  • RollTider

    Some say that he wipes his bottom with ceiling tiles, and he is powered by blue meth.

  • RollTider

    Some say that if he tried to breath in space, he would die, and that he was the dad from “the little old lady who lived in a shoe”

  • RollTider

    Some say that if he punched Chuck Norris, that Chuck Norris would punch back, and that as a child he suffered severe head trauma because he was a bowling pin.

  • RollTider

    Some say that the old stig died because he took medicine with too many side effects, and that he will make a special guest apperence at the Rio olympics, in a gay brothel.

  • RollTider

    Some say that his hearing aid is from a light switch, and that under his helmet he has a massive afro.

  • RollTider

    Some say that he sold James May’s Dacia Sandero for a Klondike Bar, and that he named his son Jenifer in honor of Jeremy Clarkson.

  • RollTider

    Some say that he bought the entire worlds supply of earthworms for his new home planet on pluto, and that he caused the Chernobyl accedent by successfully eating soup with chop sticks.

  • RollTider

    Some say that he took a bite out of apple’s apple, and that he has a bad habit of cussing out lawn knomes because they dont come with a pot of gold like leprechauns.

  • RollTider

    Some say that he doesnt know what the back of his hand looks like, and that he doesnt use the bathroom like the rest of us

  • RollTider

    Some say that he reads books inside out, and that when he stumps his toe an actual atomic bomb is detonated.

  • RollTider

    Some say that he is the least excitable man alive, and that if he met ‘The most interesting man in the world’ they would cause a black hole due to their awsomeness.

  • RollTider

    Some say that his car’s interior is made of sperm whale foreskin, and that his actual name is Tupac.

  • RollTider

    Some say that his favorite hobby is puting the heads of shrimp back on, and that his accountant is Donald Trump.

  • RollTider

    Some say that his american cousin is Iron Man, and that he is naked under his suit.

  • RollTider

    Some say that he was surprised to find sir edmond hilary in his dining room on mt. everest, and that his pet is a lawn mower.

  • RollTider

    Some say that his bathroom is transparent, and that he loves the smell of 5 o’clock.

  • RollTider

    Some say that he invented corduroy stockings, and that doesnt know what australians are for.

  • RollTider

    Some say that if he crashed his car, it would be Putin’s fault, and that Jeremy gets his quotes from topgearbox.com

  • RollTider

    Some say that his matress is made of cinderblocks, and that he googled “how to google somthing”.

  • RollTider

    Some say that he invented the modern baseball hat to keep his feet dry, and that he sells cookies to raise money for baby chimps with pnemonia.

  • RollTider

    Some say that he has no apparent conception of ice, and that he doesnt see the use in owning a spoon.

  • http://winkzwankz.info/ WinkzWankz

    I read and felt that it was useful.

  • Kiepoo

    Some say that his helmet is actually his hair, and that he has both sex organs, all we know is he’s called the stig.

  • Aidan Eloff

    Some say that he starts up quicker when presented strong pornography, and that he is used in scheduled nuclear reactor maintanance. All we know is he’s called the stig!

  • Aidan Eloff

    Some say that he once went to a psycic, to warn her and that the only words he had ever spoken was:”Chuck, I’m your father”. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

  • RollTider

    Some say that due to the recent rivalry between Ps4 and X-box one, he has bought his first gameboy, and that the advice he gave to Siddhartha Buddha caused him to reach enlightenment

  • RollTider

    Some say that he has the worlds largest collection of toe nails that he has harvested off his bee hive, and that he speaks igbo.

  • RollTider

    Some say that he was the worlds largest supplier of pennies, and area 51 is the secret concentration camp for the rest of his species

  • Richard Lemon

    Some say he doesn’t know cars but he is driving it. All we know is he’s called a dumbass that ride a car

  • J.T.

    Some say…that he is under contract with several F-1 teams, to provide them with his urine, which is 100% Castrol GTX…And that his favorite deodorant is a Little-Tree air freshener…All we know is he’s called The Stig!

  • J.T.

    This one is for Jeremy and all of the other non-motorcycle riders in the World. Some say, that the only reason he can see to be on two wheels, is because he entered a corner too hot…and that he sees no reason to put an engine between his legs, because he has a BMW 1.2 liter there already! All we know is he’s called The Stig!

  • Billy

    Some say his helmet is the reason the Titanic has a big hole in its side,,and that he jacked the lunar rover, and its sitting in his backyard,,,all we know is, he’s called the STIG

  • Anderson

    Some say, he he found a needle in a haystack, in three seconds, and that he fought a bear, and empregnated it. All we know is, he’s called the Stig.

  • jason

    some say, thet he doesnt even have his own car and that he only eats kitten tails. all we know is, he’s called the stig.

  • Lukes

    Some say Chuck Norris asked him for driving lessons…and He said No. All we know He is called The Stig

  • http://Gmail amir

    some say his name was hitler in the past & he cried for weeks after he ordered for the Jews to be eliminated.

  • http://Google amir

    some say his name was hitler in the past & he cried for weeks after he ordered for the Jews to be eradicated.

  • Rik

    Some say he called his mother ‘the stigma’. All we know is, we call him The Stig!

  • Alan Purr

    Some say that he drinks his own Bath Water! and that he once told his Doctor “for all the good these suppositories are you might as well stick them up your A…”

  • Elliot

    Some say that he thrives on effluent from steel mills, and that in Ukraine, there is a language spoken in his honour.

  • J.T.

    Some say that he knew “Kal-El” back on the old planet…before the accident…and that his gentleman’s sausage speaks six different languages! All we know is he’s called “The Stig!”

  • Mudders

    some say…he can digest a brick in 14.8 secs and that given the chance would indeed win a staring contest with a stuffed elk

  • Zee

    Some say he’s a black Zimbabwean and that he spends a third of his day learning to become an Air Traffic Controller. All we know he’s called The Stig

  • Jordan

    Some say that when he visited the queen, he convinced her to give him a fist bump. Others say that he’s won a drag race in a VW polo. All we know is that he’s called the stig!

  • Jordan

    Some say that when he visited the queen, he convinced her to give him a fist bump. Others say that he’s won a drag race in a VW polo. All we know is that he’s called the stig

  • Jordan

    Some say he’s Michael Schumacher… All we know he’s called the stig,

  • Jordan

    Some say that he urinates petrol and he sleeps not under covers in his bed, put under the hood of his car. All we know is he’s called the stig!

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  • http://topgear 김민석

    Some say he thinks he drives a bugatti veron … when its actually a second hand mini cooper amd thinks he can fly. All we know is that hes called the stig

  • http://topgear James May

    Some say his urine is melted gold and others say he’s an oversized action figure. All we know is that he’s called the Stig!

  • GiromCalica

    Some say his armpits have enough Karmic energy to open a portal to Gensokyo, and sleeps between himself. All we know is he’s called “The Stig”.

  • Marsidotes

    Some say that he has a secret identity as Jor El, and that he claims to have invented the colour white. All we know is he’s called “The Stig”!

  • James

    Some say that he recorded a record of him reciting his birth certificate information and that at full volume, is deafening silence. All we know s he’s called “The Sitg!”

    Some say that his pillow is made of the concrete from the old Hockenheimring. All we know is he’s called “The Sitg!

    Some say that he has no knowledge of himself. And that when asked about The Stig he replies “Who’s that?” All we know is he’s called “The Stig!”

  • James

    Some say that his feet are detachable pedals and that his hands are capable of attaching themselves to cars…and ducks and is held up by FRIC Suspension and that to drive a vehicle is turned of and drives like a Lotus that actually does what it is supposed to. All we know is he’s called “The Stig!”

  • Adam Brown

    Some say that he is a proffesional chicken trainer, and that he thinks flowers are out to get gim. All we know is he is called the stig.

    some say that he can communicate with bee’s and that his helmet is on backwards but painted to look right. All we know is he is called the stig

    some say he is flame retardant and that he thinks the ocean is a myth. All we know is he is called the stig.

    some say his house is made of cake, and that he can make rainbow snow with his urine. All we know is he is called the stig

  • J

    Some say that he owns a strip club in Mongolia
    and that his nose is on backwards. All we know is he’s called the stig

    Some say that he is the world champion at bagpipes and that
    his vomit is multicoloured. All we know is he is called the stig.

  • Junior Raymond

    Some say that his father is Darth Vader. And that he got rejected from the Olympics because no 1 knew what nation anthem to play. All we know is, he’s called the STIG.

  • StrikerEureka55

    Some say he can hear your thoughts before you sneeze and when he’s lost in the country he would ask a farmer’s cow for directions. All we know is he’s called the srig!

  • StrikerEureka55

    Some say he never knew there was a show called Top Gear and when he found out he was a star in it, he didn’t talk to Justin Bieber for months. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

  • StrikerEureka55

    Some say he was born on Crypton and his brother is Clark Kent aka Superman. All we know is he’s called SuperStig!

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say that his favorite disease he had when he was a child, was fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva. And that the reason he wears a helmet is that his head got run over by the Texas Toy monster truck while Leslie Anderson was vacationing in Europe, on a Dutch beach. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say he took all week staring at a stop sign and waiting for it to say go. And that he rebuilt the Rover James to use it to get out of speeding tickets. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say his favorite pastime is to chase people wearing alien prosthetic make-up through a quarry, pretending it’s the planet Stigtoenialqygeyiu. And that he thinks Creepypasta is a children’s picture book series. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

    Some say he revived his Vegetarian cousin so that he could buy a smart car, and that he car-jacked Kyle Busch’s 2010 “kittens, bunnies and little baby seals” race car and sold it to a Little Chef adorned with flowers, stars, butterflies and rainbow stripes, among other girly logos. And of course, the face of a kitten. All we know is, HE’S CALLED THE STIG!

  • Husaam

    Some say that he has a house in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle and that he has an Iron Man suit underneath his racing gear… All we know is that he’s called the stig!

  • Husaam

    Some say that his birthday is on the 29th of Febuary and that he got a sex change 6 times… All we know is that he’s called the stig

  • Husaam

    Some say that he has fitted all his cars to run on urine and that once he broke a dogs nose because it said he looked like a spoon… All we know is that he’s called the stig!

  • Husaam

    Some say he once made love to a chicken and that he is now a retired Santa Claus… All we know is that he’s called the stig!

  • Husaam

    Some say his skin has the ability to change colour according to his emotions and that many have tried to make Stig clones but have never found the secret ingredient… All we know is that he’s called the stig!

  • Husaam

    Some say he can hold his breath for exactly 3.142 minutes and that he has a secret button in his shoe that could make gravity stop working… All we know is that he’s called the stig!

  • Husaam

    Some say that his Youtube account was banned because he uploaded the same video 93 times and that he once cut of Zlatan Ibrahimovchs hair while he was sleeping at his house… All we know is that he’s called the stig!

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say that his house is a restored WWII bunker in the middle of a quarry near West Kington. And that his favorite Thunder Nationals venue, is the Top Gear Test Track. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

    Some say that he’s convinced Mr. Jaws is a documentary. And that he was raised by a can of hash. All we know is he’s called the Stig!

  • StanDando

    Some Say he is the recipient of the most meaningful look from anyone issuing a fishing license. And that his religion forbids him to turn Left in Basingstoke.

  • StanDando

    Some say: He refuses to acknowledge the sovereignty of Bangladesh. And that after all the lost years, he has vowed never to touch another glass of milk.

  • StanDando

    Some say:

    That he only drinks from cupholders.

    And his favorite number of cyllinders is the square root of Boobless

  • StanDando

    Some say:

    As a Jedi he once had an apprentice called Boris Becker

    And

    that he provokes dogs to think calmly about existentialism

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say he once murdered hackers for the FBI, and that even as we speak he is co-hosting a Dutch TV show on Roblox hackers such as Nomnomnom1. All we know is, he’s not the Stig. But is the Stig’s sniper cousin!

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say he recently gained a liking for pickled onion Monster Munch due to a temporary mishap with a spellbook. And that his best friends are a rubber duck, two Werecollies named Laurie and Sims, and a model of the DCU Center. He’s not the Stig. But he is the Stig’s Scottish cousin!

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    We can’t drive these cars because of our Werecollie forms’ feet. But we now a man who can! He’s not the Stig’s Werewolf cousin. He’s just the Stig.

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say he was employed by my good friend David Cameron to shoot motorists on the M1 who drive too slowly. And that his gentlemen sausage, is a AK-47. HE’S NOT THE STIG. He’s the Stig’s sniper cousin.

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say he arrives behind a corner in a Toyota Starlet that’s sliding on gravel and that he has a bottle of Finland vodka on his pocket. All we know that he’s not the Stig! He’s the Stig’s Finnish cousin!

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say he is the only person in the entire world to watch The Ring and live to tell the tale. And that he successfully sued the Japanese because everytime he went into the water, they harpooned him and took him back to Japan to sell his blubber. All we know is that i’m going to keel over and die in 7 days, and he’s called the Stig!

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say that he was a female in the past and was called Helen Keller. And that he had the first sex change, LASIK, and un-deafining operation, because he (or she) didn’t like he (or she)’s life.

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say he sued the American Legacy Foundation for using a image of him smashing a candy cigarette into the area where his mouth is covered by his helmet in one of their TheTruth.com ads. And that he hates all anti-tobacco stuff in the world. All we know that I’m a unpaid tobacco spokesperson, and he’s called the Stig.

  • HamShanky

    Some say that he once slipped on an orange peel, some say that he ate a porcelain mug, without any tea! All we know is, he’s called the Stig!

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say that that he raced the Grave Digger monster truck at a Nitro Jam show that occurred on a rainy day using only his hands, and a milk crate. And won. Others say he can escape everything in the world, using only his hands and a milk crate.

  • Shakur

    Some say that when his about to sleep he crawls up into his helmet like a tortise and that when he removes his helmet people can see what his thinking…his called the stig

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say he carjacked the Power Foward monster truck owned by future NBA-hall of famer Karl Malone and it’s sitting in his garage. Others say he once drove in Formula One, and his Lady Marmalade sponsored car was often marred by horrible crashes, such as one at a Formula One race at Daytona which resulted in him having a pair of soiled pants. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say he does not know what the Bergerak is. And he once ate a police officer. All we know is he hates Margaret Beckett, and he’s called the Stig.

  • The Stig’s Japanese cousin

    Some say police officers aren’t allowed within a hundred and one yards of him as of last week. Because he’s been to prison too many times, and he’s convinced police officers are edible. Others say he’s convinced Walt Disney is buried under the cool wall. All we know is he’s called Walt Stig-sney!

    • The Stig

      Thats a good one!

  • Mike

    Some say that he is, in fact, Friends with the monster that’s under his bed, and that monster is Rubens Barrichello. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

  • Mike

    Some say that, during his short time in New York City, he strangled a pigeon to death for eating a piece of bread that he dropped on the ground, and that he is mysteriously drawn to all citrus fruits, except the lime. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

  • Mike

    Some say that he writes all of Taylor Swift’s songs, and that in the year 2007 he was considered “Best Dressed” on the Red Carpet. All we know is, he’s called The Stig.

  • IvIUI2D3I2

    Some say he has a full body tattoo of himself, only taller; and that his tracksuit size is medium rare. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

  • IvIUI2D3I2

    Some say he can make the Kessel Run in 11 Parsecs, and that he once had a lazy eye until he drove a Prius. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

  • IvIUI2D3I2

    Some say if he changes the spare tire of your German Auto, you will drive away with normal lugs; and that once he goes black, he doesn’t go black. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

  • IvIUI2D3I2

    Some say he sells cans of evaporated water to Californians; and that any pictures of him without his helmet cannot be hacked from the iCloud. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

  • IvIUI2D3I2

    Some say the names of his testes are “Fat Man” and “Little Boy”; and that where he’s going, he doesn’t need roads. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

  • IvIUI2D3I2

    Some say his digestive sounds stop orphans from crying; and if his New Years resolution was to not drink any more, he wouldn’t drink any less either. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

  • IvIUI2D3I2

    Some say his rev limiter goes to ELEVEN; and that to him the term is known as “The slow of light”. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

  • IvIUI2D3I2

    Some say that the hemispheres of his brain are divided into Driver’s Side and Passenger’s Side; and that once he’s made up his mind, he should’ve turned left at Albuquerque. All we know is, he is called The Stig!

  • Superstig

    Some Say That hi has is own tv-show and his helmet is explosive… All we know hi is called stigy

  • MasterDj

    Some say that he pays his bills with monopoly money, and his nose is inflatable, all we know he’s called the stig !

  • sagup

    Some say he’s got two abortions done, and that the doctors advised him to stop whacking off. All we know that he’s called the Stig.

  • The Stig

    Some say that he has kids made of his left eardrum, and that when he go’s to the beach he has a strange impulse to talk to seagulls. ALL WE KNOW IS HE’S CALLED THE STIG!

  • Nelo

    Some say he taught Big Foot how to fetch and roll over, and that he was once bitten by a zombie… and it then turned into David Cameron. All we know is he’s called The Stig!

  • b

    some say if you take off his hemet he’s headless. and if you rip all of his clothes off he’s prepared. all we know is HE’S CALLED THE STIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • ghendy

    Some say that his steering wheel is laced with Habanero pepper juice, and that when he flushes a toilet, the water neither rotates clockwise nor counterclockwise. All we know is, he is called The Stig!